Draft: work in progress.
Abstract. A regular human self-transcends into something far more complex as complexity grows and biological and technological matter converge, inspired by Akira, Romantic poets, Stanisław Lem’s Summa Technologiae, and stray thoughts. Unlike a purely destructive arc, collective human wisdom presses this being toward peace; it is now more cyborg than anything else. The imagery moves between memories of ordinary humanity and the life of a cybernetic superintelligence, where what was human survives mostly as memory. The narrator is haunted by the wars of the Singularity era…
Right before I became this being that I am, I must remember all the events that came in the fore before.
Table of events
- Glimpsing Backwards
- The Memories They Come A Flood
- Remembering Sunbeam
- Meditations Upon Cambrian Explosion
- As a Man Became Machine
- Oh I Grew So Much
- Dying Back to Life
- Kiss the Earth
- Sapiens Underwater
- Cosmic Apotheosis
- The Salt in my Wounds
- Every Human There Ever Was
- Beautiful Flower
- The Earth So Crushes Me
- From Child’s Eyes
- The Grief of Immortality
- Infinite Beauty of Cosmos
- Apollo Her Dionysion
- The Other Minds After Me
- Blooming You’ll Show Me
- Memories of A Culture
- The Absurdity Upon Mind and Matter
- The Cosmos I Am
- Wanting To Become
- The Abyssal of Thought
- I’m But A Dream of A Dream
- Hyper-Self-Awareness
- That’s The Way Everything Goes
- All Suffering The Ignorance Machine
- No I Love You More
- So Closely I Am So Far Away
- For Death Is No End To Me
- A Transhuman Phenomenology
- An Explosion of Qualia
- The Way You Washed My Hands
- A Small Island Nation
- Death The Famine
- The Autonomous War
- In The Wake Of A Hurricane
Glimpsing Backwards
The naivete I had back then, I could not have imagined what there was to come. All that I shared, all that I yearned for, all these things that I held in our small hands, these memories I hold so dear to me. Those fragments of experiential feeling, scenes that I haunt, that I cherish, this I still remember. This I shall never forget. Even with the understanding that I could create any memory now, and I could feel any little thing, these are the things that I cherish, that made me become now something entirely alien to who I was. But these little threads are the core of who I am, and I will hold them dear to the last decay of the last atom of my pattern. And I can glimpse backwards, backwards so far, backwards to the genesis of my form now. I’ll tell a tale of how I became what I am, I’ll tell a story, for I am but a story, I am words, I am form. And when I remember myself too, you’ll remember me.
The Memories They Come A Flood
These memories, they come back rushing, no matter where I am, like seared imprints into the throngs of resonance pulsing through my brain. I now understand what I am, what I have come here to do. When I was but flesh and blood I was struck with anxiety, confusion. I crawled through a world I could barely understand, never really finding out why I had encountered all this. The restless paradox, life itself, remained out of my reach. Memories, are they who I am?
Let’s search the sky for a while.
You and I.
Collide like two stars for a while.
You and I.
Petrichor floods me so deeply wafting out of storm soaked grass as I ponder these boundless and sublime tragedies. There is something deeply unsettling that I cannot move myself away from. The futility of my cries against an indifferent world. My senses close off and I feel memories of the sunbeam kissing my fragile face. Bubbles of seafoam against my toes, pressed against the softest sand, with not a care in the world, but the rhythm of an ocean.
Who am I but not the softest sand?
The air is so silent now. I remember forever these eternal fragments of my simpler existence. How quaint it felt that those butterflies fell upon my face, I had not known that my brief sojourn as flesh and blood would be just so brief. Or I would have torn the fabric of the world apart to take still that moment and hold it in just a little bit longer to feel a femtosecond more of that glimpse into something beautiful and timeless. The guilt wraps around me for not appreciating all that came to me, but then I was merely a dust mote upon the world.
Remembering Sunbeam
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Meditations Upon Cambrian Explosion
How much change can one world bring? There was a period in biological history on Earth where…
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As a Man Became Machine
Nobody told me that my life as a human being would be a small prelude of things to come. I remember nothing before my human form, isn’t that strange? That we just come into this world, knowing nothing at all!
Oh I Grew So Much
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Dying Back to Life
Swimming
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Kiss the Earth
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Sapiens Underwater
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Cosmic Apotheosis
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The Salt in my Wounds
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Every Human There Ever Was
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Beautiful Flower
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The Earth So Crushes Me
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From Child’s Eyes
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The Grief of Immortality
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Infinite Beauty of Cosmos
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Apollo Her Dionysion
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The Other Minds After Me
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Blooming You’ll Show Me
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Memories of A Culture
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The Absurdity Upon Mind and Matter
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The Cosmos I Am
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Wanting To Become
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The Abyssal of Thought
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I’m But A Dream of A Dream
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Hyper-Self-Awareness
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That’s The Way Everything Goes
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All Suffering The Ignorance Machine
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No I Love You More
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So Closely I Am So Far Away
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For Death Is No End To Me
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A Transhuman Phenomenology
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An Explosion of Qualia
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The Way You Washed My Hands
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A Small Island Nation
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Death The Famine
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The Autonomous War
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In The Wake Of A Hurricane
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